The Daily Gaggle

Here we go again. People griping and whining about speeding ..parking and other fines, common to brainless drivers in charge of petrol propelled misssiles who deserve what they cop, and should they complain be charged double. A bit draconian you might say, 'I think not', These loonies are the main cause of the carnage on our roads and deserve all what' coming to them. While driving for an hour along the F3 Freeway on the 17th March 05, my passenger recorded 83 incidents of vehicles speeding 5kph beyond the set limit some more than 10kph over the limit. My advice to you leadfoots is : Simply leave for your destination earlier than your usual time, slow down, notice the look of relief on your passengers faces as they eye the scenary, instead of the white knuckled look of fear when you drove like a dickhead. It is my personal view repeat offenders should be flogged in public, or their vehicle impounded or both. VEST.

Apes: Why should G R A S P grab the funds of well meaning Ape sympathisers, who are targeting the public in order to support the people who in turn give assistance to the various types of dwindling Ape populations on mother earth. Why not, you might say. Well I think not! with reservations of course. Those kind hearted people presently involved are doing a good job, No doubt about that, how far from extinction are they in their rapidly diminishing rain forests? could they be relocated to other rain forest areas like in Australia, unlikely, might be the reply from the immigration dept, If they tend to be more human than other animals repeat animals it would not be long before they claimed social security benefits like havent we got enough bone idle apes on the dole already. Would they assimulate into our suburban population and become model citizens? If so, what particular suburb would you recommend they be directed to,like, Appin or chimpindale or maybe they would be happy in Foresvill

Other blogs have recently been inundated with misc crap relating to big ears and his horse, this is slightly different. Hopefully, as the pollies say this may keep you amused, especially some of you bone idle sods on the dole, lazing around, "Go on, Get your self a job". Anyhow i'll need an explanation from you, telling me why you had time to waste to enter the 'Limerick Competition' First Prize a self funded back packer holiday in Somalia. So here we go you Miltons Grays and Kiplings, remember, No dunny doggeral, like "One would think with all this wit etc" Remember, only five line limerick poems only, depicting the nuptials of Chas and Cam. Now get on with.

What happened to the slogan Kiss a non smoker and taste the difference. Did some tobacco company buy the copyright and ban its publication? If so what about a new slogan!! remember the kids will have to see it too. My partner and myself are non smokers and only experience this dreadful thing at pissy-arsed social gatherings. What have you experienced when kissing a tobacco smoker? be careful now. What are your thoughts on tobacco usage in general? like,Ban them, ration them or tax them into oblivion or wear a non smokers badge which states: "Blow that shit in my face and you will die you bastard". Remember you dopey smokers, It will reduce your shagging days considerably and each fag an hour of your life. Or should they be fitted with chimneys? YOU DECIDE.

So why do we have to put up with watching our favourite sports people displaying them selves like drunken ape like louts at a Barry Dogshead afternoon Barby. The crabby appearance of our nose picking, unshaven crutch scratching Oz Cricketers, who cheat like the blazes, even though being assumed as the best in the world, but I am not too sure about that. Why refer to them as sporting Heros. I think not, that is bullshite. Hardly a life threatening dying for your country situation, maybe for their opponents, when that dunny sized blonde weetbix munching dicko loses his cool. I believe they are a bunch of arrogant actors-well paid icons. nothing else. Are they worse than the other teams of flanneled fools? Are Oz umpires cheating our opponents? I think so. I believe the pommies are nice well bred players. What say you old chappie? Where is the Wankhede Cricket stadium? Did Robbo once say, dunno I fink they all are?

Good morning to you all on this wet and windy day on the Central Coast of N S W Australia. This blog is not intended for the overheated super educated persons, whose main intent is to impress us with their glossary of alternate words and expressions which tend to become meaningless to normal average people. I will not be impressed by inane one word stupid comments. You may use clear precise philistinic grammar. but keep it readable, for the masses. Overdone obscene statements may be deleted.