CRICKET IV'E GOT YOUR WICKET, RIGHT HERE
The following preamble is a laymans explanation of the rules of cricket to the people of North America.
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in goes out, and when he is out he comes in and the next man goes in until he is out. When one side are all out, the side that's been out comes in and the side that has been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who are all out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice, after the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
The general rules of actual play are saturated with a glossary of terms and conditions with sub rules, with the prefixes 'Unless, depending, benefit of doubt, and other Misc Claptrap, every morsel of important cricket goings on is recorded in WISDEN a sacred hard to get book with more info on cricket than Brittanica, from the time the first ball was bowled in Hambledon Hampshire England in the early 19th century . There is more to read in Wisden than the 'Holy Bible' or the 'SevenPillars of WISDOM'.
Any Cricket Jokes?
You have two sides, one out in the field and one in. Each man that's in goes out, and when he is out he comes in and the next man goes in until he is out. When one side are all out, the side that's been out comes in and the side that has been in goes out and tries to get those coming in, out. Sometimes you get men still in and not out.
When a man goes out to go in, the men who are out try to get him out, and when he is out he goes in and the next man goes out and goes in.
There are two men called umpires who are all out all the time, and they decide when the men who are in are out. When both sides have been in and all the men have been out, and both sides have been out twice, after the men have been in, including those who are not out, that is the end of the game.
The general rules of actual play are saturated with a glossary of terms and conditions with sub rules, with the prefixes 'Unless, depending, benefit of doubt, and other Misc Claptrap, every morsel of important cricket goings on is recorded in WISDEN a sacred hard to get book with more info on cricket than Brittanica, from the time the first ball was bowled in Hambledon Hampshire England in the early 19th century . There is more to read in Wisden than the 'Holy Bible' or the 'SevenPillars of WISDOM'.
Any Cricket Jokes?
Comments
This Strange occurrence was noted in the 1950s and seemed a bit queer to most sport lovers. (TRUE)
Two brothers both played football(soccer) also cricket, for their Country (England).They also played cricket for their County team named MIDDLESEX and the top Soccer team which was ARSENAL.
NOEL COWARD.
With a little editing by me it reads.
Dramatist, composer and entertainment ( all rounder *)( a cricket term *) a life long bachelor, was born this day in MIDDLESEX in 1899
I remembered the tune, there was no one around so I sang to the words and recorded my rendition, I shall make copies and send them to people I least like.
Read about Cricket Scumbags in my March 2005 Archives, Quite Funny.
First of all he is not a hero, but an overpaid icon.
Then as a spin bowler he is probably one of the best, the number of victims he has snared is the highest, due the fact that spin bowlers use less energy to bowl means he has nearly twice the use of the ball than other bowlers.
Two thirds of his victims are lower order batsmen, most top order batsmen have him worked out.
When he travels with his team he has single accommodation apposed to twin share, this is due to the fact that he has an obsession for a feed of baked beans, as well as being a filthy chain smoker.
Further more he has a crimminal record, that of a drug user.
Then of course, he has this well known problem,'Other Women'; not just one or two but many, he also has a loving family, they do the loving, but not for too much longer, his darling wife has forgiven him several times, he has been shown the door.
Mark, My opinion of him is that, he is an arsehole Ist class and what concerns me most is that people are too willing to elevate people like 'Shane Warne'who succeed at the inconsequential and fail at the truly significant.
This reminds me of Who's on First by Abbot & Costello. "I don't know...3rd base!"
This was very funny! I used to frequent a pub in Victoria BC called The Sticky Wicket.
took a Pakistani co-worker to a baseball game once and he kept referring to the batter as the "batsmen." I guess that must be a cricket term.
In reply to your question regarding my travels, at the time of your first enquiry I made a few notes but failed to post them.
Apart from several air journeys,Eng- Asia, and Australia- England. most of my travels were with the British Navy over a period of nearly 25 years, visiting aprox 78 different countries and making multiple visits to some of them amounting to aprox 214.
For about 33 years I have lived in England with lots of gaps and I have also lived in Australia for 34 years, in Hong Kong for 2.2 years, Singapore & Malaysia for 2.3 years, the only continent i have not visited is Antarctica.
BTW are you a bloke or a bird?
My advice to you is , Join the Australian Navy; you will get all your desires fulfilled when you go on a long sea journey now that sodomy is legal at sea.
further more I recommend you use that melbourne based blog site TSSH for any further chit chat, they are the worlds best purveyers of filth nonsense and depravity.
P O.
The three obscene comments from cap- scumbag will shortly be deleted.
BTW my enthusiasm will not extend from Oz to the USA'
Answer: WAS. Sorry, I will have to delete your 'F' word, thank you for calling, no need for you to return. BYE.
Just regard me as a sort of missionary bent on removing garbage from the internet, and to you LUDICROUS as it may appear, I send my best wishes, have a nice day.
I will admit there are different breeds out there; some of whom would be best left to engage in their own self destuctive thinking.have a nice day
Other bloggers check her out, see for yourself.
I just wanted to gloat about Australia's whitewash of the Ashes, a delightful 5-0 flogging :)
C'mon Aussies C'mon!!!!!!!! haha
I hope you and your delightful wife are well and I look forward to seeing you in the near future :)
MsSpankilicious, NSW
Hammered 5-0 by Australia in the Ashes and with its best batsman Kevin Pietersen back home nursing a rib injury, England belatedly claimed its breakthrough tour victory after overhauling New Zealand's 9-205 with just one ball to spare in the tri-series one-day international in Hobart."
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/article.aspx?id=67437
Mon dieu! Monsieur Vesty!!! When will the British cricket team actually defeat the Australian Cricket Gods? (smirk) I think we should let you guys win at least one game to save face...
A bientot.
Madam Spankilicious :)