Wanna Title thats Posh, Dead easy if youv'e got the Dosh
Labour sperm donors: new lapel pin and ear-tagging for honors recipients
Written by queen mudder and Approved and edited by vest@dailygaggle.com
Story written: 30 December 2006
Email this story Print this story
Gong recipients with personalised badges
London - (Ass Mess): Easy recognition of cash-for-honors gong-winners has been announced today in the form of a lapel pin bearing the ancient heraldic symbol of the asshole rampant. Newly created Life Peers can also choose a personalised form of the badge, for instance the fistful of cash, the Prime Monsterial (tennis) racket or the offshore tax haven slush fund PO Box number emblazoned in brass.A variation on the lapel pin under consideration is the ovine/bovine ear tag with easily accessible bar code that may be worn by local government workers and IT consultants honored for their work on the government's NHS computer.Lord Archer will be offered the option of electronic tagging and this facility may also be something for Lord Levy to sport in the New Year once the Met has completed its bungs-for-honors probe.Also under consideration are elements of the successful pet micro-chipping scheme which could be adapted to warn anti-terror police that Global Piss Process luminaries such as JK Rowling and Cliff Richards are in the vicinity of sensitive UK landmark buildings.Civil servants are to get their own variation on the gongs emblem: the gagged-for-life-sinecure lapel pin showing Lord Levy astride the Sphinx, or a miniature signed copy of the Hutton Report.The swastika remains a popular choice for recipients of House of Mountbatten adulation as does an enlarged diagram of the syphilis microbe, once so popular with Thatcher-era Hellfire Club grandees. The new badge idea seems to be a huge hit already, especially in the MI5 spooky-tricks department where a senior official refused to admit or deny that the latest lapel status symbols contain a SatNav tracking device and automatic bank account scanning facility each time a wearer logs their pin number into an ATM.
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious. Well nearly, there's no smoke without fire.
If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
I've got nothing else to do.
Written by queen mudder and Approved and edited by vest@dailygaggle.com
Story written: 30 December 2006
Email this story Print this story
Gong recipients with personalised badges
London - (Ass Mess): Easy recognition of cash-for-honors gong-winners has been announced today in the form of a lapel pin bearing the ancient heraldic symbol of the asshole rampant. Newly created Life Peers can also choose a personalised form of the badge, for instance the fistful of cash, the Prime Monsterial (tennis) racket or the offshore tax haven slush fund PO Box number emblazoned in brass.A variation on the lapel pin under consideration is the ovine/bovine ear tag with easily accessible bar code that may be worn by local government workers and IT consultants honored for their work on the government's NHS computer.Lord Archer will be offered the option of electronic tagging and this facility may also be something for Lord Levy to sport in the New Year once the Met has completed its bungs-for-honors probe.Also under consideration are elements of the successful pet micro-chipping scheme which could be adapted to warn anti-terror police that Global Piss Process luminaries such as JK Rowling and Cliff Richards are in the vicinity of sensitive UK landmark buildings.Civil servants are to get their own variation on the gongs emblem: the gagged-for-life-sinecure lapel pin showing Lord Levy astride the Sphinx, or a miniature signed copy of the Hutton Report.The swastika remains a popular choice for recipients of House of Mountbatten adulation as does an enlarged diagram of the syphilis microbe, once so popular with Thatcher-era Hellfire Club grandees. The new badge idea seems to be a huge hit already, especially in the MI5 spooky-tricks department where a senior official refused to admit or deny that the latest lapel status symbols contain a SatNav tracking device and automatic bank account scanning facility each time a wearer logs their pin number into an ATM.
The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious. Well nearly, there's no smoke without fire.
If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
I've got nothing else to do.
Comments
Lieut/Commander RAN retired, ex wardroom grunter, famous for such phrases as "I say old chap", "Jolly good show" in his imitated British upper crust strine vernacular.
To watch him fumbling with our rich and delicate English language is like seeing a Sev'res vase in the hands of a chimpanzee.
Vest Daily Gaggle.
Taking a caning are you mate, goes with the job.just keep mod on and reject those that offend. your last comment about the chimp was a scream,. we are all with you mate, avagday Mike.
Kate: Its supposed to be confusing and amusing.
Dennis W: Language is by its very nature a communal thing; that is, it expresses never the exact thing but a compromise - that which is common to you, me and everybody.
It seems every one has missed the point, that, this post was meant to be satirical.
I have give them a large volume of meaningful replies.
Poor little tweety, if you fell off your perch you would destroy your cage, FATSO.
I keep records too.
Within fifty years you Y-doodles will be surviving on rat stew. Have a lovely day, I am quite a pleasant person, but if persons continue to quote me in a deraogatory manner I will in turn reciprocate dumb dumb. BTW you should install spell check.
Copy to vest daily gaggle.
Hi ts: ow yer going, getting a bit slow on the deletions eh. hows things in dogland, still chasing bow wows on your broom stick.
Don't forget to wear knickers when you kneel down in church tomorrow, last week we could all see what hubby had for breakfast. Timely reminder, Tshsmom Wears size 48xxxl Red flannel bloomers with galvanized gussets.
Hey is jethro for real?
BTW, stick to the pokies and no jiggery poky, some of the sweet young things like the one you mentioned might leave your old feller looking a trifle sour. Thanks for calling again.
INDIANS TAKE DEFEAT BADLY.
An indian cricket fan commited suicide while another died of a heart attack after watching their nation teams crushing defeat to Sri Lanka in the World Cop match in the Caribbean.
Upset over India's loss and after having an argument with his wife, 25 year old farmer Mahadeb Sarker hanged himself after the match - in the village of Bajitpur in the Eastern state of West Bengal.His wife sadhana, who was also upset about the defeat,tried to hang herself in another room, but survived.
My condolences to Sadhana.
US Vice President Richard Cheney spoke about mateship during wartime.
But where was the mateship during the 1914-18 and 1939-45 wars, when America sat on the fence for several years while millions were being killed before they came to help out?
When America invades another country it expects others to come in right away, even if the invasion is based on lies.
If Americans are as good as they make out they are in their war films, I cant see why they need help from anyone.
Military leaders and pollies are not the faceless ones who suffer death and misery for their loved ones, More's the pity the military buffoons don't lead the charge as in yore.
I have a high regard for American military personal, the combatants and the on the field logistical helpers. and I remember their heroic actions both land sea and air, I shall also remember our British Com/wealth Naval forces, who with the American Forces Easter Sunday April 1, 1945, were engaged in the final phase of WW2 and possibly the most horrific period of destruction of lives over a 12 week period, 'Operation Iceberg' the invasion of Okinawa. The ship That I served on was the Third ship to enter Tokyo Aug !945.