The Daily Gaggle

The human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures. 100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed. The human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000. After they reach their peak around the year 3000 humans will begin to regress. These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years. "Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," suggesting that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance. Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, That will make a few of you want to live longer. Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes and pert breasts. Raci...

EXPOSED: 10-year-old UNPAID workers who help clothing giants make billions GAP slave kids CHILDREN as young as TEN are being sold into slavery by poverty-stricken parents — to churn out cheap, embroidered clothes for fashion chain Gap. An investigation uncovered the scandal of sweatshop kids who work for NOTHING in India's capital, New Delhi. After talking to frightened youngsters as they laboured to produce goods in time for the lucrative Christmas season, we can reveal they are: FORCED to work without pay for up to 19 hours a day in the stifling heat. BEATEN with a rubber pipe if they cry or protest. KEPT in stinking, poorly-lit sweatshops running with raw sewage and BRANDED with tattoos which bond them to their greedy bosses. When we confronted horrified Gap chiefs with our findings, they immediately vowed to WITHDRAW tens of thousands of their embroidered children's smock tops produced by sweatshop labour before they even reach the stores. But the news will bring little com...

Muslim prisoners may sue over ham Muslim prisoners are considering suing the authorities for £2 million after they were offered ham sandwiches to eat during the holy month of Ramadan. The inmates at HMP Leeds, a category B local prison, claim that their human rights have been breached as a result. However, the Prison Service, which yesterday confirmed the incident, said it was a mistake which was "corrected immediately". It said Muslim prisoners had been given "inappropriate" menu cards for their packed lunches but denied that any had actually been given ham sandwiches. A spokesman said: "Guidelines state that prisoners must have a diet which meets the requirements of their religion." Islam forbids Muslims to eat ham and pork, and prisoners reportedly said the incident was made worse because it happened during Ramadan, which took place between Sept 13 and Oct 12. Leeds Prison holds more than 1,200 male prisoners, of which more than 200 are Muslim. ...... A...

SURBITON, Surrey, England, A wealthy gent from Pakistan has had the temerity to invade this sanctuary of the stock broker community, by using a proxy to purchase a rather posh residence, Mr Iqbal Mustavafag his wife and brood of nine children are now the neighbours of Colonel Richard E and Mrs Agrippina, Firkinhead, distant relo's of a former right wing MP for Smethwick in Birmingham. Mr (Send the sods back) Enoch Powel. To stir the can or put the cat among the pigeons so to speak the Mustavafags called on the Colonel and the Colonel told them to "Shove off" because he explained he was more superior in the order of things than a Pakistani . When asked why, the Colonel explained , although our houses are identical my gardens are better and I own a brand new Daimler Car also we employ a chauffeur a cook and housekeeper and I have 5 million pounds in the bank. "Thank you for the Info stated the Pakistani I'll be back later"," don't hurry said the Colon...

Teacher lined up pupils by skin colour for photo. A head teacher admitted "an error of judgment" was made after children were made to line up according to their skin colour for a class portrait. Actually it was nothing less than a total cock up. Children burst into tears when they were split into rows according to their race, with white children at the front, and black at the back, leading to complaints from parents. The head teacher of Sandhurst Junior School in Lewisham, south-east London will be writing to every parent to apologise, after dozens complained. And so she bloody well should. The incident last week involved more than 100 children aged seven to 11. Nine-year-old Cameron Amoah said he spoke out when he was segregated from his white classmates and was told to "get to the back" with the other darker-skinned children. "We were told: 'all the white kids come to the front, mixed race in the middle, and dark-skinned at the back.' "One...

ENTER THE PAMIRS: We woke up this morning (last friday) pissed off at our driver for being incompetent and ready to bolt in general. Instead we haggled him down to a pittance for continued travel costs, and decided to spend the day going into the pamirs, the huge mountain range in eastern tajikistan which supplied the USSR with all of its moutains worth boasting about, which still include Peak Lenin and Peak Karl-Marxa. we were bound for a pass at 4000 km where we thought there'd be some good views.a note about pamiri people: they are all ismailis, which is the minority branch of shiism which produced the assassins, built cairo, once stole the black rock from the Ka'aba and presented it to a messianic zoroastrian priest, and were generally the coolest heretics in world history. they were also pretty much wiped out by the Horde in the 1250s when Hulegu reduced Alamut. the survivors fled to remote regions, most notably lebanon, yemen, kashmir, and the pamirs. these people mixe...

21 October 2007 A place to question everything...and everybody. (1) What's the most memorable thing you did when you were a teenager that you didn't tell your parents about? Would you tell them now? (2) Rules you had to follow. What rules did your mother and father have that you thought were crazy when you were growing up? Do you still think they are crazy? (3) A successful relationship Do you feel that you've ever had a truly successful relationship? What makes a relationship successful? (4) Swearing on the job. Recent research shows swearing at work boosts workplace morale and strengthen team spirit. Do you agree? How do you feel about swearing? (5) If you could live anywhere other than the country you live in now, where would it be and why? (6) Your Most Prized Possession? What is your most prized possession? Why is it so important to you? (7) Your favourite way to communicate What is your preferred method of communication ? (i.e. email, in person) and why? (8) Which are...

Recently nearest and dearest in her wisdom purchased a new birdcage for my sons birthday present. The old cage which housed 'Lucky' was considered too yukky for what was our pet Cockatiel until our son stole the (Female)birds affection. For six and a half years lucky has been incarcerated within a cage with a surface area of 450 sq ins, but the new cage is only 315 sq ins plus it has less height. I just have that feeling that the bird would have been much happier in its old shack - larger and more familiar than the new pristine white cage with less lateral movement. I feel we humans have little idea when it comes to imagining the plight and stress of the upheaval it places on the bird. Ok so it wasn't a pretty cage, but the bird probably didn't give a hoot and I'll lay odds lucky isn't too happy in his new expensive abode, did I hear her squawk "Squeezy squeezy". Lucky whenever possible is allowed to fly around the interior of the house usua...

Suicidal over clothes shopping SHOPPING for clothing can be depressing for those not happy with their weight, but some women admit the task leaves them feeling suicidal. A survey of Hong Kong women found that four per cent have contemplated suicide because they cannot find clothes to fit. In Australia, the average size hovers around 12 and finding large sizes can be difficult in many shops. The survey comes as Australian Fashion Week organisers announced they will not put a ban on using models that are "too skinny", despite the deaths of two international models in recent months. Almost half of the women questioned in the Hong Kong survey confessed that they were often too big for shop sizes in their country, despite being a medium size. Of these, about seven out of 10 blamed limited sizes in shops, which often used ultra-thin models and displayed only extra-small sizes. The survey conducted by the Eating Disorder Association questioned 600 women aged above 16 in the city of ...

A 72-year-old man will become the genetic father of his own grandchild after agreeing to donate sperm to his daughter-in-law in London to allow her to conceive. The unnamed man became a donor after his son and daughter-in-law could not conceive a child through IVF (in-vitro fertilisation) because his son's sperm was not of high quality. His son will become the father of his genetic half-brother. The sperm is being screened at a London Women's Clinic, which is treating the couple who are in their 30s and who have requested anonymity. The clinic's co-medical director, told the daily he had never seen such a case before, but some people are now willing to consider all kinds of options with progress in fertility treatment. "Obviously the wife's mother-in-law also had to be included in all the conversations but she has no objections," he was quoted as saying. Society has also changed its perceptions of what is and what is not acceptable. In this ...

Not all together plain sailing over the past week or so , with visiting Gr/ Ch, birthdays. and to top it, I have had flu symptoms, also a comma attached it self to my web address which caused confusion for three days. I have not ventured forth to the outside world, and have been off the grog for ten days, which is surprising as we have had the hottest Oct day on record last Thurs and the last two days have been similar. I shall be attending Hail or shine, the funeral of my friend and shipmate Tony Jackson, this coming Tues at 9AM Oct 9. there are now 11 of us left in Australia and about 30 in the UK. My name appears in alphabetical order at the top of the list, h'm, gets you thinking doesn't it. Rosemary also has flu symptoms, that did not stop her having her hair done today. The dog next door who usually eats all of our food scraps has gone 'Walk-about' His owner told me that he had no idea when he would return and suggested I bin it on Tues our garbage day, e...

Zimbabwe's last white farmers face final push Farmer Charles Lock is determined to fight for his land in the courts Ringed by a clutch of Zimbabwean soldiers clicking automatic weapons, Charles Lock handed over the keys to his farm and drove off his land for the last time. Scores of white farmers, the last survivors of President Robert Mugabe's land grab, and thousands of their black workers are going through similar agonies.They now face the final deadline. As from today, any white farmer still on his land will be deemed to be trespassing on state property. All agricultural land was officially nationalised last year — with the seizure to take effect from Oct 1 this year. In advance of this deadline, Zimbabwe's army and the Central Intelligence Organisation, Ave IQ About 6, have been tormenting the last handful of white farmers and their workers. About 50 have been summoned to appear at magistrates' courts. Some have surrendered their farms and homes in despair in the...