The Daily Gaggle

John Palmer our second youngest member crossed the bar last week, he leaves a wife Sheila and a large extended family. There are now only eleven of the sixty odd crew members of the 38,000 Ton battleship HMS King George V, The flagship of the WW2 British Pacific fleet, who returned to Australia after WW2. There are about forty members in the UK, so from a crew of 1,800 we are a fast diminishing lot. Tomorrow we will give John Palmer a good send off, I hope he goes to where he was hoping to go. Have a safe journey old Mate. Vest.

Woman locked in cellar for 24 years by sex slave father For 24 years police thought missing Elisabeth Fritzl had run away from home to join a religious cult. Yesterday the full, sickening horror of her secret life emerged - for all that time she was allegedly held captive in a cellar by her rapist father Joseph by who she had seven children. Astonishingly Elisabeth, 42, lived with three of the youngsters in the 1.7metre-high dungeon reached through a garage and accessible only by an electronic lock with a special code. Their captivity emerged after eldest child Kerstin, 19, was taken to hospital unconscious with a mystery illness. Doctors found a note in her pocket from her mum begging for help. Another three children were "adopted" by Joseph, 73, and his wife Rosemarie who was unaware of their parentage. The seventh child, a twin, died shortly after birth. Joseph allegedly burned the body. Joseph is now under arrest suspected of incest and keeping his daughter in captivity.

Priest drifts out to sea harnessed to 1,000 party balloons Priest floats off on balloons, the dimwitted locals swear he has gone to heaven Priest Adelir de Carli floats skyward harnessed to 1,000 party balloons - and hasn't been seen since. Adelir, 42, doing the stunt to publicise his parish, was missing yesterday after drifting out to sea off the southern coast of Brazil. Now that is the perfect way of getting rid of these Bum rustling paedophile priests . Pommmie thinks he is getting it tough. As us Aussies get the Grand run-around too, still its a gripe worth listening to. Don't you wish that you had written this?Subject: Passport Application. Dear Minister, I'm in the process of renewing my passport but I am a total loss to understand or believe the hoops I am being asked to jump through. How is it that Bert Smith of T.V. Rentals Basingstoke has my address and telephone number and knows that I bought a satellite dish

The invasion by relatives is imminent. they will arrive at lunchtime today Sunday. Seven in all will be accommodated, my office (Spare Bedroom)only used when er indoors has a headache; will be the main sacrificial lamb of peace and comfort, the valance of the bed hides two Queen sized mattresses secreted underneath the bed, which together with the lounge room furniture will provide sleeping facilities, on the floor ; as in camping. We in NSW OZ are now in the second week of yet another school vacation, Two of our Grand children will stay until next Sunday, the others will return Home on Tuesday after My #4 son completes a huge 'Carpet Cleaning contract' for a very large firm to which my #5 son is the purchasing officer, I smell a big back hander here, but be rest assured, I will not be in the fiscal equation, just the opposite by footing the bill for their stay over, I suppose its the set in stone rule that, GP's & Parents will provide sustenance and comfort for vi

Meet the Zapettes and the Sarkozettes - a new breed of female politician who make our lot look like the first ladies of frump. When that master of vitriol Gore Vidal decreed that "politics is showbusiness for ugly people", he was spot on. But today there is a new wave of female politicians who seem intent on demonstrating the exact opposite. In the front line: Harriet Harman José Luis Rodríguez Zapatero , the Spanish prime minister, posed with his glamorous new cabinet this week - the first time a European government has included more women than men. Add to that the much-lauded French ministerial line-up - so chic they've been dubbed the Sarkozettes - while in Italy, new prime minister Silvio Berlusconi's prospective cabinet could be said to resemble a Hugh Hefner harem. And in Britain, well, we have Hapless Harriet, Jacqui "Too Much Home Front" Smith, and Tessa the Trainspotter. Isn't it time that our women politicians got a grip and made for the

Immorality in the western world has a long trek ahead to beat this system. For sale: 13-year-old virgin in BharatpurThirty miles west of the Taj Mahal, on the road to the pink city of Jaipur, tourists on buses pass a sight that the guide books rarely mention. In pictures: 14-year-old's virginity for sale A mile beyond the town of Bharatpur in Rajasthan, where the highway is being widened to four lanes, traffic slows down for roadworks. But the workmen who lounge by their bulldozers have their eyes on something else - a cluster of makeshift shelters where girls, several under 18 and at least two younger than 15, can be seen strolling or sitting, in view of the dusty carriageway.Tonight, one girl in particular is attracting attention as she sits on a stool by a fire so that she can be seen by passing vehicles. Her heavily made-up, striking face and beautiful pink sari make her look as if she were on her way to a party. But the truth is different. Suli, 14, is a virgin and a bidding w

TRADITION DICTATES THAT WOMEN CAN ASK MEN TO MARRY THEM ON FEBRUARY 29 IN A LEAP YEAR. A TRIUMPH FOR EQUALITY – OR A RECIPE FOR DISASTER? TWO WRITERS THRASH IT OUT Catherine says: YES When I was a little girl, I read Snow White and dreamed that one day I too would be kissed by a handsome prince and awake to a proposal of marriage and happily-ever-after. Then I grew up and got real. What if the prince had commitment problems or was saving up to buy a property? As a passive woman who left her destiny up to fate, poor Snow White would have suffocated in her glass coffin or had to shack up permanently with the seven dwarves. I don’t think there is anything desperate or emasculating about women proposing to men. I feel that if I ever meet Mr Right and want to pop the question, I’ll be able to hand him a ring box without him handing me his testicles. Then again, I’ve never been a girl who’s had the wedding dress picked out before the first-date appetisers arrive. Call me crazy, but I think t

A Son is offering £7 an hour for someone to take his elderly dad to the pub for a beer. When great grandad Jack Hammond, 82, had to move into a care home, he found a good local but has no one to go with him for a pint. So his son, Mike, 56, advertised at the local post office for someone to join the former radar technician at the Compass Inn in Winsor, Hants, twice a week for a few drinks. He said: "We're looking for someone who can share a conversation. He's not a heavy drinker, it's the company he misses. He's intelligent with physics and maths degrees." TOO GAUDY Church tells widow to change husband's headstone because it's too gaudy. A widow had to change her husband and daughter's headstone after the church said it was gaudy. Margaret Storey, 75, was told the £2,000 black granite book design with gold letters was the "wrong colour and material, too shiny and out of keeping". Now she has had it moved to her garden and paid £1,800 for

Man charged with assault for throwing Hedgehog at boy A man accused of lobbing a HedgeHog at a boy has been charged with assault. Cops claim William Singalargh used the animal as a weapon in a bizarre attack on the 15-year-old in Whakatane, New Zealand, in February. Senior police sergeant Bruce Jenkins said: "It hit the victim in the leg, causing a large, red welt and several puncture marks." A hearing at Whakatane District Court has been adjourned to April 17. If found guilty, Singalargh, 27, could be jailed for five years. Vest Say's I heard about the Aussie kid having an 'Echidna' chucked at him, it seems now the Kiwis have to get into the act too. "Is the Hedge Hog a native in the land of the long white cloud"? Growing up in England I had several Hedge Hogs as pets, They were all called Spike and they had an uncanny way of escaping. Hedge Hogs were a Gypsy delicacy. They were spiked throogh the head -gutted washed and rolled in red clay and plac

Being a hooker is summing I love Shock confession of maths prodigy who turned to life of vice J L Spencer MATHS genius turned hooker Sufiah Yusof reveals how she drives men wild... by reciting EQUATIONS to her clients as they have sex. Watch her sexy videoshoot and interview And the Asian beauty defiantly claims that selling her body for up to £1,000 a time provides her with a far more glamorous life than she ever dreamt of when she went to Oxford University aged just 13. Click here for more pics of Sufiah "My clients love the fact that I can stimulate their minds AND their bodies," she boasts in a shockingly frank interview. "And I don't believe my education has been wasted—in fact I usually take problem sheets with me to solve before appointments." Sufiah decided to CONFESS ALL after we revealed how the former child prodigy was working as a £130-an-hour prostitute while studying for a masters in economics. It is the latest heartbreaking twist to a life that se

THE Highest ratio of sexual deviants must surely come from bachelor priests, than any other organisation, it never goes away, the whole sorry mess thanks to commonsense invading the minds of intelligent people, is giving the leader in the christian sect of the faith industry a few headaches as people leave the church of Rome in droves. more lies will be revealed to cover up previous Fibs dating back to the sixth century when the New Testament gospels were prefabricated. In fact the whole of the christian and muslim doctrines are nothing but flim flam fairy stories. Pope faces protest over US priests' sex abuse. The Pope's visit to America next week has been plunged into controversy after the Church decided that he will not address the victims of sex abuse by priests. I wonder why? Sect raided after reports of child abuse Groups representing thousands of victims of sexual abuse by American clergy yesterday threatened to greet the Pope with protests on his first visit to the coun

Couples to sign contracts before sex to avoid rape. AN independent female MP is calling for couples to sign contracts before having sex, to avoid false allegations of sexual assault being made. Independant South Australia MP Ann Bressington today confirmed she was serious when she said couples should sign a contract before sex to combat false rape allegations, if proposed laws are passed. The independent MP yesterday told Parliament the planned new laws, which make it an offence to continue a sex act with a person after consent if they changed their mind, would make it easier for men to be accused of rape. She also claimed "one-night stands" and casual relationships would become a "high-risk activity". "Perhaps this parliament could devise a contract which men could carry around in their pocket, next to their condoms," she said during a speech to Parliament. "There could be a waiver should a man meet up with a woman who has had a couple of drinks befo

Lottery winner Luke Pittard has swapped slow living for fast food and gone back to work at McDonald's. The 25-year-old had been taken it easy since scooping £1.3m and quitting his job at the burger chain nearly two years ago. But after getting bored with life on the edge of the sofa he has gone back to his old job as a staff trainer. Father-of-three Luke earns £5.85 an hour and is up at the crack of dawn to get to work for his early shift at the Cardiff restaurant. "To be honest, there's only so much relaxing you can do. I'm only young and a bit of hard work never did anyone any harm." ................................................................................................................................................................ Weird World Video: VEST THE BLOGGER takes on killer beasts... and wins! More Weird World Have your say on What are you talking about? in our Forums News pictures Related Tags crocodiles , great white shark , killer beasts ,