The Daily Gaggle

And it hasn't rained much either. So since the new edit of the water regs last June all due to the increase in water storage whereas one may wash the family car using a trigger hose instead of as many bucketfuls as you wished, I decided to give the car a miss and illegally water the back garden. The guy next door spoke to me about it and I explained that, I will not mention to the authorities about the elec/light being constantly turned on in his shed at the back of his garden. Having got him by the short and curlies, he suggested that being a pom (English) I should be given an extra quota of town water due to the assumption that most English people only bathe on a Saturday or the sabbath or to attend periodical social gatherings. This neighbour of mine has part of his rear garden dedicated to the storage of come in handy later items-the TV Saga of 'Steptoe and Son' comes to mind, sayings such as "Oi Arold" and you "Dirty old Man" by the motley pair of ...

Vest said... In future until further notice, all non bloggers meaning those without a blog site, may if they wish register their name or title with me as others have done already. Leave your name etc and email address and register before calling, this applies mainly to serial anony callers who use abusive dialogue within their comment, maybe Little Ben from Maitland should take note and also purchase a nose guard from your friendly sports store--gotcha you little fart. Remember all calls with unacceptable content will be scrubbed. Have a lovely day. Friday, 22 August 2008 10:48:00 AM EST

SO Britain is short on pools and soap so this prize pig states, not surprising since he and a heap of other Aussie Bigots have hogged the market for their daily ritual, 'The Washing Out Of Your Foul and Filthy Mouths With Soap'. John Coates: The Aussie Olympic Boss, the under qualified and grossly overpaid sporting moron living off the backs of true blue Aussies, should find himself another job that suits his general makeup, ideally as a 'Shithouse Cleaner' or with the North Korean Diplomatic Corps. This common Tyke has been asked to step down and should be regarded as persona non grata. Google 'The Sydney Daily Telegraph' archives, for the full story. The Need for (comfort) domestic swimming pools in Britain or Europe, is rare due to the adverse climatic conditions. The need to shower daily in Australia is a must or you would stink to high heaven, however, this option is not always the case, say during the winter season when the temperatures drop to equal t...

THERE is nothing so impertinent, so sensitive and foolish, as our way of vulgar discourse, when mixed with oaths and curses. Swearing, that lewdness of the tongue, That scum and excrement of the mouth commonly used by bullying peers in industry the office and the military parade ground, and now the entertainment industry, it is of all vices the most foolish and sensless; it makes a persons conversation unpleasant, his Discourse fruitless, and his Language Nonsense. On leaving; as a guest at a local servicemans club, I asked a senior staff person if I could be allowed to voice the "F" word during any social conversation within the club. I was told "No", our club will not condone swearing within the club at any time. My reply was; it seems the Pious bastards running this club can charge patrons $45..00 to listen to a barrage of gushing filth incorporating every known top drawer swear word known to man by that ugly bastard 'Rodney Rude' Billed as entertainment,...

This is far too close to the truth for my liking, A Somalian arrives in Birmingham as a new immigrant to the UK He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says, 'Thank you Mr. Englishman for letting me in this country, giving me housing, food stamps, free medical care, and free education!' The passer-by says, 'You are mistaken, I am Pakistani.' The man goes on and encounters another passer-by. “Thank you for having such a beautiful country here in the UK!' The Person says, 'I not British, I am Polish.' The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops, shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful things in England!' That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from India, I am not British!' He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you British?' She says,” No, I am from Africa!' Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the British people?' The African lady...

CHAPTER 47 ( Another excerpt from VEST'S memoirs 'Waving Goodbye To a Thousand Flies') Back to Australia. After much preparation, our house sold for more than we expected. We said our good-byes to our relatives and hoped all would be well. On Independence Day, 1971, we sailed from Southampton on ‘Brittannis,’ a 22,000 tonne Greek liner. We had the option to fly out, but a thirty-one day cruise seemed the best idea, especially since it would be a new experience for the family. The journey to Australia was great – good accommodation, food, and entertainment. Mary’s 37th birthday was on 5 July. Even after delivering five healthy sons, she was still beautiful (and still is the love of my life.) Our boys were well behaved on the ship. We met an ex-Navy man and his wife and family with whom we are still in contact to this day. When the ship called into the Canary Isles, we all went ashore and nearly lost Christopher, who decided to go sightseeing on his own. The next stop was in...

Nigel...... LION-KING@NTLWORLD.COM Subject: FW: THE SIX AFFAIRS The 1st Affair A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day they went to her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM . The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary. We had sex all afternoon.' She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!' The 2nd Affair A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen....