Are you Missing Kissing.

Killjoy town bosses in Warrington, Cheshire have banned couples from kissing each other goodbye on the railway station platform – in case shows of affection disrupt departures. But Warrington isn't the only place you could find yourself in trouble if caught puckering up... In Indiana it's illegal for mustached men to "habitually kiss human beings". "I'm not surprised, its in America. In Hartford, Connecticut it's illegal for a husband to kiss his wife on Sunday and in Cedar Rapids, Iowa, it's a crime to kiss a stranger. Yankee nutters again. But don't let that put you off - here are 15 facts about kissing:- 1. You burn 26 calories in a one minute kiss. (It is the reason why fat girls stay fat.) 2. The average person spends two weeks of their life kissing.(partners friends children rello's pets and secret lovers). 3. Eskimos, Polynesians and Malaysians rub noses instead of kissing. ( better than the taste of blubber or nasigoreng). 4. Romans kissed each other on the eyes or the mouth as a greeting. (Then they kissed each Udder). 5. In Russia, the highest sign of recognition was a kiss from the Tsar. ( Especially if you were a sugar plum fairy). 6. Victorian etiquette required a man to kiss the back of a ladies hand. ( This was my first lucky day when I first performed this rite). 7. A standard greeting in Europe is a kiss on both cheeks - could be two. . . could be four. ( Or even more, more than ten you could get lucky). 8. African tribes pay homage to their Chief by kissing the ground where he has walked. ( Much wiser than kissing the chief). 9. In Ireland, you will have good luck if you kiss the Blarney Stone. ( Clean it first or you may not). 10. The scientific name for kissing is philematology. (Covertly kissing your neighbours wife or husband is philandermatology. Is that a word?) 11. Longest kiss - 29 hours by contestants in the "Breath Savers Longest Kiss Challenge" in New York on March 24, 1998.(The foul breath factor became easier to accommodate as time progressed). 12. Longest underwater kiss - 2 minutes and 18 seconds in Tokyo, Japan, on April 2, 1940, ( This was challenged by two kamikaze pilots Tuesday April 3 1945 who never surfaced). 13. First movie kiss - John C Rice kissed May Irwin in the film called "The Kiss" (1896). ( the whole world was shocked) 14. Most kisses in a single movie - 127 in the movie "Don Juan" (1927). Mary Astor and Estelle Taylor got all of those kisses from John Barrymore. (And charged the studio for each of them; due to his booze and baccy breath). 15. The longest movie kiss timed at three minutes and five seconds was between Jane Wyman and Regis Tommey in the 1941 film "You're in the Army Now".( It was a sad farewell gesture prior to a disastrous marriage to presido Ron reaganomics Reagan). Comments in Brackets by Vest.