The Daily Gaggle

THE human race will one day split into two separate species, an attractive, intelligent ruling elite and an underclass of dim-witted, ugly goblin-like creatures. It has already begun 100,000 years into the future, sexual selection could mean that two distinct breeds of human will have developed. The human race will have reached its physical peak by the year 3000. After they reach their peak around the year 3000 humans will begin to regress. These humans will be between 6ft and 7ft tall and they will live up to 120 years. "Physical features will be driven by indicators of health, youth and fertility that men and women have evolved to look for in potential mates," suggesting that advances in cosmetic surgery and other body modifying techniques will effectively homogenise our appearance. Men will have symmetrical facial features, deeper voices and bigger penises, That will make a few of you want to live longer. Women will all have glossy hair, smooth hairless skin, large eyes an...

All due consideration given due to my advancing years, eldest son Chris and nearest and dearest both young in comparison to myself, Mowed the Lawn(Actually its just a mess of Misc grasses and weeds) Also the edges were trimmed and quite a lot of weeding done, and for this I thank you both although it is fact that you both share an equal responsibility concerning the matters mentioned. The general appearance was good; particularly the front of the house. The rear garden however, displayed a new feature namely something which would at first sighting to most people appear to be a U F O had recently parked there. This phenomena was created by Chris who spread the large boat cover on the grass when washed and left in the sun to cook the grass. One of my time wasting hobbies is my garden, Others may look but not interfere. However, Chris in his weeding frenzy pulled from the garden one of my prize winning vegetables thinking it was a weed, His apology fell on deaf ears. This morning taking a...

One of my regular callers Frank Cooke from Barnados U/K has sent this to me, being I am very busy Frank can take care of any mud slinging from the Faith Industry followers. JEWISH CHRISTMAS As a teacher, Ms. Jones, was very curious about how each of her students celebrated Christmas. She called on young Patrick Murphy. "Tell me Patrick what do you do at Christmas Time?", she asked. Patrick addressed the class, "Well Ms. Jones, my twelve brothers and sisters and I go to midnight Mass and we sing hymns, then we come home very late and we put mince pies by the back door and hang up our stockings. Then all excited we go to bed and wait for Father Christmas to come with all our toys". "Very nice Patrick", she said. "Now, Jimmy what do you do at Christmas?" "Well, Ms. Jones, my sister and I also go to Church with Mum And Dad and we sing carols and we get home ever so late. We put cookies and milk by the chimney and we hang up our stockings. We har...

I changed the coolant in 'Henry' our Ford Falcon on Thursday-- a hassle to say the least. It leaked yesterday meaning a bottom hose change. Our large boat being prepared for sale (can't cope with it anymore) was in our garage, (Aud$25,000 and its yours),,,, and the falcon was in the drive halfway from being fixed when it tiddled down with rain. It was eventually fixed adding small bruising and a broken fingernail to add to my getting soaked to the skin, Rosemary Say's "Well you won't have to cut the grass today dear but it will be a blessing in the rural community and help douse the bush fires, she then put 'Start you bastard' our mower back in the shed to prevent more anguish... oh no not as such; Chris our son appears with tidings of great joy indicating the freezer had died aged 23 and the defrosting was well advanced. After a rapid cleanup and a visit to the big H/N store our new Fisher & Paykel freezer made in New Zealand (Not ying tong land).....

Denmark, a must read! This article could be seen as racist by some but on the otherhand it could also be seen as a reflection of our own reality that somehow our politicians refuse to see. The interpretation is up to the reader, however it is food for thought....j SALUTE to Denmark .. This could very well happen here on our Continent.... Susan MacAllen is a contributing editor for (FamilySecurity Matters.org) Salute the Danish Flag - it's a Symbol of Western Freedom By Susan MacAllen In 1978-9 I was living and studying in Denmark . But in 1978 - even in Copenhagen, one didn't see Muslim immigrants. The Danish population embraced visitors, celebrated the exotic, went out of its way to protect each of its citizens. It was proud of its new brand of socialist liberalism one in development since the conservatives had lost power in 1929 - a system where no worker had to struggle to survive, where one ultimately could count upon the state as in, perhaps, no other wes...

Probably has something to do with global warming. My chatty barber(I still have hair) a local sports analyst, asks, "I suppose you will be watching the England V South Africa Cricket test matches on the telly shortly, where are they playing"? There are many people like him in oz, some must wonder why the majority of festive greeting cards have a snow feature. Very few Australians, particularly slow moving Queenslanders would grasp the fact that the playing conditions for cricket in Britain(Three months of Northern summer) are no better than the off season for cricket in Australia approx Five months, the Aus cricket season being more than twice that of Britain. Rik pong ting continues to sport an unshaven dial partially hiding the frowns and smirks depending on the fortunes of the game and cock ups of his prone to cheating team mates. In one two hour session of play recently he was seen to have spat on hands fourteen times besides picking his nose and scratching his goolies an...

Doing it quietly is not always the case arriving at that pinnacle of bliss, but there are somethings you just cant change and one of them is that human beings like making babies, so it is nice to know the majority of us are quietly going about the business of keeping the human race going, and it seems those who are leading the charge are women in western Sydney the city's true heartland. Now this is good for the economy and-more importantly-good for brothers and sisters. It's not scandalous or outrageous but behind closed doors across Sydney little miracles are being made every day. Unfortunately some women are making headlines for the wrong reasons, I suppose you might say this a spin off from a former post of mine "Kiss a non smoker and taste the difference"(Archives March 23-05). Most intelligent people who smoke are probably aware that smoking for the first thirty years of your adult life will reduce your life expectancy by up to ten years and also reduce hanky pa...

Down in the South Pacific Lies the land of Oz. Nowt to do with the Judy Garland's 1939 wizard of Oz movie, however, we do have heaps of yellow dust roads just as bumpy as brick ones. As for wizards in oz, we have an over supply drawn mostly from the ranks of failed lawyers, who now pose as leaders of the community. Besides being a country made up seven states, Oz is also a Continent which colloquially speaking occasionally becomes 'Incontinent' due to the diverse weather patterns. Oz is an upside down Country, where Christmas comes during the height of summer when locals get it off instead of rugging up. Our hot winds come from the North; so a southerly wind during the festive season can be a blessing. Officially, today is the first day of summer in Oz, I live on the beautiful Central Coast 120klm North of Sydney in New South Wales on the Pacific Ocean. Last night we required an extra blanket at 2..AM and the temp was 11 Cel at 8..AM. It is now 1030..AM and we have an outsi...