The Daily Gaggle

Infidel of Infidelity Shame Worne continues his bed hopping between periods of coaching our OZ sticky Cricketers. Our beefiest Bawling ball bashers are at last belting the Britishers in the back yard version of the game, whose best players have returned to Blighty. Returned from the the scrap heap, Short fuzed bowler Binglea; whose facial grimacing and hateful vein bursting  air punching taunts, is seen on Channel 9 yesterday having his Bum tapped  by gay playful team mates, thus exposing their gender weaknesses. The less exposed version of cricket is that of Women's Cricket. The beefy belles of Britain, are putting their lesser skilled opponents the 'Ozstrayer Cock or two's to the sword. It seems the Ozzie Sheila's are also getting stuffed at the game, must be an overall downward trend in Oz cricket. Our girly reporter was stunned  when she espied the pom lady keeper packing a cricket box after a game, concerned she asks Oz sheila "Do the teams have sex check...

COUNCILS want to DNA-test dog droppings, so they can track down owners who refuse to pick up after their pets and send them a fine. The hardline approach, being trialled overseas, has won support from councillors in Sydney, North Sydney, Woollahra, Waverley and Ashfield. Genetic Technologies, Australia's largest canine testing laboratory, wants to implement the DNA testing scheme and is preparing detailed submissions for councils. It works like this: dogs would be given a mouth-swab while they're being microchipped at the vet and their DNA stored on a database. Council rangers would collect droppings and send samples for testing to find a database match. Owners would then receive a fine notice for failing to clean up after their dogs. Ashfield Councillor Nick Adams says dog droppings are an "enormous problem'' and has vowed to get the ball rolling on a feasibility study. "I support this idea and would welcome any initiative that protects the health o...

Reluctantly I visited my local physician yesterday in order to confirm my ears were clear for my forthcoming stability test on  Monday. Having already followed instruction to clear my lugholes from nasties, the non glove wearing Quack took a Gander by using a scope to poke into my tinnitus ravaged sound boxes. The result a clear port side but an infected starboard side, requiring anti body drops until whenever! Something I did notice after the failed oriental medical comedian told me that the only thing I should put in my ear was my big toe; anything else creates infection, was the doc then put the ear scope away in a cupboard uncleansed. J'ai des e'tourdissements. To be a greater person you must believe you are the best, even if you know your'e not, pretend you are. Vest... Back later.

Too much exposure to stressful activities may be enhancing the intermittent pains dancing around my head, although nothing amiss has happened during the past ten minutes or so which would be about the average time before another short sharp stabbing pain occurs. I am not a happy soul having to put up with this dilemma  which has increased in intensity over the past couple of months. You will remember this is the ongoing after effects of a domestic accident which occurred  8-2-08. Coupled with the afore mentioned predicament is my unsteady gait and general dizzy embodiment. Numerous tests scans and x rays have not come up with an answer to my problem, although the neurologist I spoke to about six weeks ago did inform me it was something I would have to live with full time. However, the increase in activity over the past few weeks was not expected, it leads me to think that there is a case for further examination. My next visit to the neurologist on Monday 17th inst ...

 Well, you have only yourself to blame GLUTTONY and gorging yourself on the wrong foods you eat, mainly caused by ignorance, laziness and boredom, is the obese persons path to an early demise. A DIET of processed meat, full fat dairy products and fried foods is fuelling the worlds growing rates of diabetes, high blood pressure and obesity. Although Australia is high up the charts internationally, It is in America and Canada where the problem is at its greatest peak, and 25% more, the highest proportion of the porky population are women over 20 years of age- 70% of those are fatties. so men if you are looking for a Nth AM partner; particularly Caucasian, its 4 to 1 on she is a fatso. Most people totally ignore the recommended eating habits, men generally have the poorest diets, with fewer than 5% eating the recommended Minimum of five vegetables per day, but counter this by having more exercise and some a physical work program. Women on the other hand tend to be takin...